To Love the Unlovely

"If you do not give up, but proceed to love the unlovely in a sustained way, they will eventually become lovely to you." - The Meaning of Marriage by Tim Keller

The Bible and Christians talk a lot about love. And I mean A LOT. Jesus once said, "Love thy neighbor as thyself." (Mark 12:31) But I feel like I don't have the desire to love everyone like Jesus calls upon me to. Some people are really annoying, some people I feel like are not worth my time, some people I just dislike for no apparent reason, and some people I just don't envision myself ever getting along with. I can't tell what's worse - the idea that I can't ever come to love someone or that it doesn't bother me that I can't ever come to love someone. 

One of my friends once told me that apathy is worse than hatred or anger. I asked her why.
"If you feel annoyed or angry towards someone it means deep down you still care to some extent, but if you're just apathetic or indifferent it means you don't even care. And that's why I think apathy is worse."

I never thought of it that way. I'm pretty indifferent to a lot of things. If something bothers me I'll force myself to ignore it so that eventually I won't care. I guess that's like the opposite of what Tim Keller was trying to say in a way.

And not to whine or complain but that's a lot of effort to love everyone. I think I'd go crazy having to talk to certain people. But why does Jesus say to love our neighbors as much as we love ourselves, if not more? 

My first thought was that it relieves you of the burden of hatred and bitterness. I can say from personal experience that it becomes very tiresome very quickly to be bitter towards someone. It's like a virus that proliferates and doesn't stop. You actually spend more effort and energy consistently hating other people than loving them. Think about it. When you hate somebody, you make the effort to either avoid said person or to make said person feel miserable. That's a lot of work! Not only that but whenever you see said person you usually feel down yourself. Low serotonin! It's a self-perpetuating downward spiral.

A virus has to be stopped by some external force or it will eventually just destroy its host. Our desire to love must be catalyzed by an external force as well - that catalyst is Jesus himself. 

Through his grace, sacrifice, and unconditional love, we need to find the desire to love others as Jesus loved us. Despite all our sins and unworthiness, Jesus paid the ultimate price by dying on the cross so we that we may be reborn.

So as I write this, I ask myself, what keeps me from feeling that desire to love?