At What Point...

At what point do you sit down, look at yourself in the mirror and ask, "What are you doing?" At what point do you beg yourself to come back to reality and stop daydreaming in fantasies? At what point...

A year has gone by...far too quickly for my liking. It's strange how vastly different two summers can be - one in which you were my closest companion and one in which you are nothing more than an acquaintance, if even that.

It's funny how you managed to make me experience a roller coaster of emotions, ranging from disappointment and frustration to joy and excitement.But then again, maybe I only have myself to blame. Maybe I never should have let my feelings get the better of me. Maybe I never should have fallen for you.

However, I don't regret confessing my feelings. Because in that moment, what I felt was real. And even if you didn't feel the same way, I know that my feelings were genuine. I guess even today I think about it from time to time, wondering if I did something differently or said something else that perhaps our relationship would have taken a different course, that maybe the promises we made wouldn't have turned into hollow words. 

And I admit that there are a few things I would like to say but I'm choosing not to because I don't know if it's appropriate to anymore. They wouldn't really make a difference, right? 

I don't know if you'll ever read this but there is one thing that I do want to say. And that's...thank you. 

Thank you for taking the time to get to know me. Thank you for asking me about my relationship with God. Thank you for letting me into your life and sharing with me your aspirations, hopes, disappointments, and fears. And lastly, thank you for praying for me.

Would you think I'm crazy or hopeless if I told you I miss you? I wonder if you feel the same or if I'm just stuck in reverse.

I'm not really sure what our relationship will be tomorrow, a month from today, or even twenty years from now. But there's one thing that I do know - I'll be praying.